What's the Big Deal

Dear Mayor Newsom,

I would like to commend you on your great job as Mayor of San Francisco. You have been working hard to lower the crime rate, fight homelessness, and start your re-election campaign. With your high approval ratings, how could you lose?

I’m glad you understand the hardships and sacrifices that go into being a staffer and campaign manager for an elected official. Not too many people do. You understand the commitment, hard work, and long hours usually go unnoticed and unappreciated. But oh no, not to you. You compensate your campaign manager not with extra pay or comp time off, but with sleeping with his wife...you know, to keep her from getting lonely and all. I praise you on such dedication to keep your campaign manager’s loved one happy and content while he is strategizing and working for you. Talk about benefits. What other employers can offer anything better?

I don’t understand how this incident could get you bad publicity, since you were only trying to help. I mean, you apologized for having an affair and participating in adultery. It’s not like you sold nukes to terrorist or killed anyone, you just made a tiny error in judgment, and that’s not against the law. So don’t let critics get to you. What more do they want?

In conclusion, I would like to tell you that I am grateful you are the mayor of the greatest city in California. You make us so proud. Good luck in your re-election campaign.

Best Regards,

Concerned Citizen