Driving
I have some pet peeves that I need to unload about drivers who don’t know the rules of the road.
5. You should never go the speed limit, you should go faster. When you are on the freeway, no one ever goes the speed limit, everyone always goes faster. And if you do want to go the speed limit, get the hell out of the left lane.
4. If you are going to cut in front of me, don’t slow down, speed up. When you cut me off, you need to be going faster than me or you’re going to cause me reason to dislike you even more. So please, for the sake of us all, when you cut me off, speed up.
3. If you can’t merge properly, don’t merge at all. Merging onto the freeway at an appropriate speed is important when not causing an accident. The trick is to go the speed of traffic, if not faster. Oh and also looking before you merge would be helpful. For all you people out there who try to multitask while merging…you are the ones who probably merge without looking. Well don’t do that, because it makes me say really bad things to you.
2. Weaving is annoying. If you weave in traffic, you suck. I laugh at cars who weave through traffic only to be passed by people who have the patience to stay in one lane. That makes you a sucker.
1. Weekend drivers (commonly referred to as idiots). If the majority of your driving is done on the weekends, then I hate you. You know why? Because you have no idea how to drive. You think you do, but let me tell you that you don’t. You signal after you have already changed lanes. You drift while driving. You’re too distracted to know what the hell is going on around you. You have a dog in the front seat or hanging out the window. You have a stupid child honor roll bumper sticker or baby on board sign on your car. And most of all, you drive too slow.
So the lesson for today: if you fall into any of the above categories, get off the roadways and take the bus.
5. You should never go the speed limit, you should go faster. When you are on the freeway, no one ever goes the speed limit, everyone always goes faster. And if you do want to go the speed limit, get the hell out of the left lane.
4. If you are going to cut in front of me, don’t slow down, speed up. When you cut me off, you need to be going faster than me or you’re going to cause me reason to dislike you even more. So please, for the sake of us all, when you cut me off, speed up.
3. If you can’t merge properly, don’t merge at all. Merging onto the freeway at an appropriate speed is important when not causing an accident. The trick is to go the speed of traffic, if not faster. Oh and also looking before you merge would be helpful. For all you people out there who try to multitask while merging…you are the ones who probably merge without looking. Well don’t do that, because it makes me say really bad things to you.
2. Weaving is annoying. If you weave in traffic, you suck. I laugh at cars who weave through traffic only to be passed by people who have the patience to stay in one lane. That makes you a sucker.
1. Weekend drivers (commonly referred to as idiots). If the majority of your driving is done on the weekends, then I hate you. You know why? Because you have no idea how to drive. You think you do, but let me tell you that you don’t. You signal after you have already changed lanes. You drift while driving. You’re too distracted to know what the hell is going on around you. You have a dog in the front seat or hanging out the window. You have a stupid child honor roll bumper sticker or baby on board sign on your car. And most of all, you drive too slow.
So the lesson for today: if you fall into any of the above categories, get off the roadways and take the bus.
Posted by kristina
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