Say What

I have a story to share that I’m mildly pissed about…so you know, bear with me on this one…and just let me vent.

I was out at a happy hour with some of my ex-coworkers. I was there with my pal Sam, some people I haven’t seen in awhile and new people I’ve never met before. In typical happy hour fashion, we were all congregated around the bar…drinking, snacking and chatting. Anyway, a small group of us (probably 5 or 6 of us) got into a discussion about the hardships of having to watch what we eat because of weight and exercise concerns (as we snacked on nachos and chicken wings, go figure…haha). Anyway, typically diet, exercise, and weight are general enough topics that it’s not such a bad thing to discuss with a wide group of people, right? Well, let’s just put it this way, it definitely is a topic that almost everyone can relate to and/or can talk about.

Now, let’s introduce a dude who is a friend of a friend (someone who I wasn’t familiar with prior to the happy hour)…let’s call him Jake. He jumped into the conversation about weight and body image. He said that he understands why girls are so self-conscious about their body image and blamed most of it on the media and advertising. I nodded along and continued to snack and drink along with everyone else. No big deal. Jake then goes on to say that when a girl has a few extra pounds that she needs to work off, he tries not to hold it against her. Another girl, who was at the bar with us, asked him what he meant by “a few extra pounds.” Haha. I sensed a slight icy breeze in the air and knew that poor Jake is in trouble.

Jake looked at the group (at this point I'm sure we looked like a pack of wolves just waiting to feed on prime meat), tried to save face and make his case. He, and I kid you not, turned to me (since I was standing next to him) and said that he would understand if, for example, I (pointing at me) have body image issues because of my extra weight. Now…wait…say what? My neck almost snapped because I turned my head so fast to stare him down. I just wanted to make sure I heard him right…was he alluding to the fact that he thought I had a few extra pounds on me and that I was fat?!?! Since when is being 5'4" and 110 lbs. considered fat?!?! I put down my beer and very calmly (well as calmly as I could) asked him this question and asked him to clarify. He quickly backpedaled and told me to relax and said that he’s not talking about me…per see, but “any Asian girl with my body type”…Hmmm, to me that sounded like he was talking about me. I felt myself getting heated and I think Sam could as well. So Sam, tried to defuse the issue by saying Kristina, his best ‘ole office buddy around, "is completely hot and has the bangin’ body of a goddess”…followed by a finger snap and a head spin (haha…a little over the top dude, but aww thanks…you're always such a sweetheart). I know Sam was just trying to stand up for me in front of the group...which I appreciated (although I would've been fine battling the douche bag on my own...seriously I can take care of myself). Subsequently, another topic of conversation was quickly brought up and we moved right along.

Anyway, as I was getting ready to leave for the night, Jake came up to me and tried to make amends. He apologized and said he felt bad for how I took his comments (I’m rolling my eyes right about now). He asked for my number so “he could make it up to me.” Haha. Are you kidding me? Oh please, yeah right. But seriously, by this time, I was over it. Whatever. He's just lucky I didn't open a can of whoop ass on him. Don’t ever fuckin’ call me fat, asshole!

Do It

My only advice to you…and I swear after this I’ll let the topic drop and leave you alone...is just do it. For crying out loud, just do it already!

After our conversation last night, it's all I could think about and I just want to make one last public plea. Your dude is the biggest jerk around. You can do so much better. Look at what you’re willing to do for him! Look at how he treats you! Look at every piece of your heart that he’s ripped out over the years! Are you kidding me?!?! He’s a huge douche bag and doesn’t even appreciate you. If you’re going to be with someone, wouldn’t you want to be with someone who appreciates you, respects you, and loves you?!? Make him prove it. You deserve for him to prove it to you. Do not settle for anything less than that, damnit.

You know I love you and I only say this because I care. Please take my advice. Have some respect for yourself. Cut him loose. Fuck that. Seriously…just do it.

Still Sick

So I’ve been trying to keep up a routine and blog about twice a week (ideally I would like to blog more, but twice a week seems to be all I can fully commit to right now). And this week (more specifically, today) I’m finding it quite difficult to come up with something that’s blog worthy. As most of you know, I’m still sick. Yes, that’s right…still sick. So I think being congested in the head doesn’t really help matters…but you know, it is what it is.

This past week, I’ve committed the ultimate sin. For as sick as I have been (and, seriously, I sound worse than I actually feel), I have not called in sick to work. I know, I know, it’s terrible and I’m a horrible person. For as much crap as I give other people for coming into work sick, I did the same thing all week. Yeah, I’m the biggest hypocrite around when it comes to this. It’s quite a shame. I mean, it’s just like I tell everyone else…your work will still be here when you get better, no one is indispensible at work, you have a separate pot of sick leave time that isn’t going to use itself up, and you have to take care of yourself first. And what do I do with all this great advice? The typical…do as I say not as I do. Ha. Yeah, it’s ridiculous. But…on the flip side, when I am at work and sick, I pretty much keep to myself and stay locked in my cube as opposed to visiting other people…that’s gotta count for something, right?

Let’s see, what else can I think of to write about in my congested state of mind? Oh, there is no love greater than the love I have for NyQuil right now. For the past two nights I’ve popped NyQuil before bed and have enjoyed the best night’s rest I possibly could given that I’ve been so congested. I’m hoping to kick this cold before this weekend…well, hey if I’m hoping for stuff, I might as well hope to get rid of it before tonight since I have plans…but this weekend would be fine and perfectly acceptable too…you know, I don’t want to be too picky about it. Ha! :-)

OK but I do have one main complaint with NyQuil. Do the pills have to be so freakin big? I have problems swallowing pills to begin with. I think it’s just my own mental fear that I might choke on ‘em and die. Haha. You would assume that I would then opt for just taking a spoonful of the liquid NyQuil crap…but you know what? I’d still prefer the pills. So I take my chances swallowing and hope one of these days they will find a way to shrink down those pills to small miniature capsules just for me. I don’t know. A girl could always dream, right? But, yeah, swallowing those horse-sized tablets is just ridiculous. They’re ginormous.

On that note, I’m gonna wrap it up and call it a day. Hopefully, I’m on the speedy road to recovery and will be back to my chipper self in no time at all. And then all will be right in the world again. Here’s hoping.

Sick

After spending a good portion of this past weekend sick as a dog…yeah, that’s right, on my highly anticipated long awaited holiday weekend, I had to go and get my ass sick. Well, not that I’m accepting full blame for being sick, I’m putting the blame on a certain someone…who will just have to remain nameless and I’ll just plan on kicking his butt later. So I’ll just settle for my meanest glare now…yeah, that’s right, I’m glaring at you!

You know, this cold seems much worse than anything else I’ve had in awhile. And, trust me, I don’t get sick all that often, but when I do it just knocks me on my ass. I mean, not only do I have the sniffles, a mild cough, a throat that feels like it’s about to close up, and what feels like a gallon of snot sitting in my chest (I know, it’s a lovely mental image I’m trying to create for you), I have this pressure built up in (or around) my left ear…which means it feels like that uncomfortable feeling you get when you step off a plane and need to pop your ears…only, I tried to do that and nothing seems to work. It’s the most uncomfortable feeling ever. And maybe that can explain why I’ve been in such a funk lately…

So yeah, my weekend left some things to be desired…mainly, me feeling better and needing another long weekend away. I felt like death half the weekend. However, you all know how much I hate wasting my time off so I didn’t let it stop me from going out and enjoying the weekend as much as I could (which is probably why I’m still sick). Also, since this past weekend was Chinese New Year, I built in plenty of family time…which I know my family thoroughly enjoyed my company as I was trying to hack up whatever was clogged in my lungs. Haha. Anyway, please send all your good health wishes and thoughts my way…that’d be much appreciated.

February 14th

This year Chinese New Year falls on Valentine’s Day. Isn’t that just absolutely lovely? Now we can all pretend Valentine’s Day doesn’t exist and celebrate Chinese New Year instead. Yay!

I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day. Even when I’ve had super big Valentine’s Day plans with someone special, I still hated it. Ask anyone. The idea of Valentine’s Day has always just seemed so superficial and meaningless to me. I mean, it’s just a random day with raised expectations for romance dictated by the card industries…not really my cup of tea. And for me, I’ve never wanted (or someone else) to do or say anything specifically because it was Valentine’s Day.

Anyway, with a super long weekend ahead of me…I’m breaking open the champagne early and looking forward to relaxing and kicking back with no worries whatsoever. So I’m warning you now, if you have anything to say that will stress me out…talk to me after the 16th…any earlier and I may have to hurt you.

The Aftermath

Could this weekend have gone any better for me? Looking back on it…no, I don’t think it could. This weekend was so completely awesome and was just what I needed after enduring a week from hell. First, I got to see and hang out with some of my super cool people . Second, there was no drama, no worries and no stress all freakin’ weekend. And third, the Saints clobbered the Colts in the Super Bowl yesterday. Yeah, this weekend was pretty awesome.

The Saints pulled it off. Can you believe it? Oh man. I’m still finding it hard to believe. The game was crazy exciting and I’m glad the Saints were able to pull off a win. After hearing everyone sing the praises of the Colts, I was definitely preparing to eat a little crow if I had to. But you know what? Crow isn’t on my menu anymore. Wahoo. For those of you who I’ve made bets with and still need to settle…don’t think I won’t collect. ;-)

I’m a tad tired this morning. After the football game last night, we whooped out Mario games and Rock Band and had a blast until the wee hours of the morning. Yes, I’m regretting the decision to stay out so late when I knew I had to work today, but I just couldn’t help myself. After such a kickass weekend and a great football game, I just had to indulge myself and enjoy the night just a little longer. Is it my fault that “a little longer” turned into six additional hours of fun? Ha!

Now, can I just say how much I love those Mario games? They’re so awesome. I mean, I’ve been talking about getting a Wii for awhile now…and it’s solely because I just love those games. Now, some of those MotionPlus games are a little retarded, but I guess I can’t love everything, right? *sigh* You know, it’s a good thing I don’t have a Wii because I don’t think I’d ever leave my house if I did. Haha. And, of course, I rocked it out on Rock Band too. I don’t get to play Rock Band all that much. First off, because I don’t know too many people that have Rock Band (and I refuse to buy one). And secondly, the idea of playing plastic instruments always just seemed really stupid. But you know…when you actually get to playing Rock Band…and add in a bunch of friends…and alcohol…it’s quite an interesting sight to see. Haha! Yeah, good times last night. I want copies of those pictures, damnit. :-)

Two Things

You know, sometimes I get the strange feeling that the gods of fate are putting together a series of events (known as my life), they enjoy watching me stumble and try to find my way…and just spend their time laughing at me. It’s the weirdest feeling, but I could swear sometimes it’s true.

Over the last few weeks, I have had the weirdest sensation that I’m being tested. And you know what? Bring it on! Fate is really making me work for things and testing my resolve and strength. Damn them. I’m gonna get through this. I always do. I’m determined and I have the will of steel. I will survive and be stronger because of it. I laugh in the face of a challenge. Ha! So, damnit, bring it on, Bitch!

Alrighty…changing the subject and moving right along…with the Super Bowl right around the corner, and my trash talking ways (potentially) getting me into deeper and deeper trouble with my bookies (hi guys), I’m still trying to decide where I want to spend my Super Bowl time. It’s a very complicated matter. Since I am rooting for the Saints…and everyone and their mother seems to be rooting for the Colts…I have to choose a party very wisely. Since I have a lot riding on this game, I want to make sure I’m surrounded by the right crowd of people. People who can understand my competitive spirit, can share my love for the game, and more importantly, can appreciate my trash talking ways and/or show me some mercy, if needed. Haha. See, I told you, it’s a very complicated matter.

So with a couple of Super Bowl party invites that I still haven’t responded to…I need to make a decision soon. I know, I’m waiting until the last minute, which is so unlike me. Usually, by this time, my plans are already set in stone. But hey, what can I say? I’m keeping my options open and evaluating things before I make my final decision. But I will…tomorrow, hopefully. Patience, guys. ;-)

With all that said, I can’t wait for this week to end and the weekend to start. Hail the weekend. Roll out the red carpet and let’s get the party started already. Go Saints!

Just Get Mad

I’m in a weird predicament right now. I find myself (honestly) starting to feel a lot better about things…and the only reason…is because I’m finally allowing myself to just be mad. And you know what, I’m mad…honestly, deep down, angry, upset, and just downright pissed. I know, I know, this makes no sense to you because being mad really doesn’t accomplish anything, but oh man…lately, it has been working wonders for my psyche.

I’m not going to go into the details about all this, but let me just say that it’s a very therapeutic feeling. Normally, I don’t condone getting mad, staying mad, or justify being mad (because it really doesn’t solve anything and just serves to eat me up inside)…but you know what? In this particular instance, it really seems to be working for me. Being mad has finally provided me the opportunity to work through everything and put things in perspective. And, better yet, the situation has benefited quite a bit from me just allowing myself to be mad without fighting it. My whole outlook on the situation has changed and things are finally much easier to deal with. And now (as strange as it might sound), I feel like I’m on the road to being in a much better place within myself because of it.

I know I’m talking in circles, but I just need to put this out there right now. I know I can’t, and shouldn’t, stay mad forever…and eventually I will work through it and it will pass and leave me in peace. But for now, fuck it. And better yet (if you’re reading this) fuck you.