I Hate Cats

I would like to assume that everyone and their mother knows about my hatred (and yes, I do mean hatred) for cats. All cats. I know this may be hard for some people to believe, because we're talking about a goddamn cat here...but yes, I hate cats.

Now before you send me any freakin' pictures of cats or try to convince me that cats possess all the good qualities missing in this world, let me just say that I've heard it all before. Every time I mention to someone that I'm not a cat person or that I just don't like cats in general, I get the same look of disbelief and the same pathetic response. People tell me that it's just because I haven't met the right cat. I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say that their cat is so cute, or so well behaved, or so...whatever and if I meet their cat, I'd totally change my mind. But you know what? It doesn't matter. A cat is still a cat...and I hate cats. Period.

There have been some people dumb enough to question whether I exaggerate my hatred for cats...and let me assure you, I despise their existence and hate them all equally. And to be perfectly honest, if I saw a cat, I would kick it. Psh...you think I'm kidding. I'm not kidding.

As for my feelings on cats, don't say I didn't warn you.