Road Rage
I have some venting to do. With all the driving that I've been doing lately, I've come to the realization that there are some people on the road who really shouldn't be allowed to drive. As most of you know, one of my biggest pet peeves (I know, I have a lot of them) are people who can't drive. And I don't mean people who don't have a license (at least those people stay off the roads and out of my way), but I mean those people who have a driver's license but really don't know how to drive and shouldn't be allowed near a car. You all know the type of people I'm talking about. So I'm going to provide some helpful tips when taking to the road.
Let's just start off with merging onto the freeway. It's not that hard, people. When you merge onto the freeway, you have to speed up. You can't continue to drive freakin' 30 mph when people on the freeway are going, at least, 65 mph. So speed the fuck up. I was stuck behind this car that was literally going (and I kid you not) 35 mph on a freeway on-ramp. 35 mph!!! Not only did this dude almost cause a multi-vehicle accident, but I almost had a freakin' aneurysm because there was no where for me to go. I mean, I drive faster than 35 mph on city streets much less on the freeway. Ugh. Sir, you just got passed by my grandma and her walker...that means you need to stay off the roads.
Changing lanes is another big one. There are so many issues when it comes to changing lanes. It's like an art form really. It takes a special skill...that apparently not a lot of people have. So let's start with the basics. There is a reason why turn signals come with the cars, people. Use them. When you want to change lanes, use your freakin' signals to let me know you're going to be invading my lane. And once you get into my lane...you need to not slow down. Do not, under any circumstances, move into my lane and then proceed to slow down. Doing that will likely cause me to curse very loudly and shake my fist at you. I was driving along with the flow of traffic and this old man moves his car right in front of mine and then slows his ass down. Are you freakin' kidding me? Hey Old Man, you do that again and you’re going to be missing a bumper.
OK, I’m saving the best for last. The big one…and I do mean the big no no…is when you're in the far left lane and you are that idiot who’s going super slow. There is nothing more annoying than being behind someone in the fast lane who doesn't understand the concept of driving fast in the fast lane. People, if you're going to abide by the speed limit, that's great...just don't do it in the far left lane. The far left lane is for people who want to go faster than 65 mph (well, just a little faster than 65, Officer). So just move your little car over to any of the other number of lanes available and let people pass you. I was behind this lady who was going exactly 65 mph in the far left lane. Seriously, I trailed her for a couple miles just to see if she'd move over (fyi, if you have someone sitting on your bumper and you're going 65 mph in the fast lane, you should move your ass over), and she was going exactly 65 mph the whole freakin’ time. Umm...Mom, what did I tell you about driving in the fast lane? You drive too slow to be in the fast lane!
Ugh. But, phew, that's it. I think I covered everything that I wanted to. So if I happen to run into you on the road and you break any of the above rules...I will not be responsible for my actions. Consider yourself warned.
OK, I'm done for now.
Let's just start off with merging onto the freeway. It's not that hard, people. When you merge onto the freeway, you have to speed up. You can't continue to drive freakin' 30 mph when people on the freeway are going, at least, 65 mph. So speed the fuck up. I was stuck behind this car that was literally going (and I kid you not) 35 mph on a freeway on-ramp. 35 mph!!! Not only did this dude almost cause a multi-vehicle accident, but I almost had a freakin' aneurysm because there was no where for me to go. I mean, I drive faster than 35 mph on city streets much less on the freeway. Ugh. Sir, you just got passed by my grandma and her walker...that means you need to stay off the roads.
Changing lanes is another big one. There are so many issues when it comes to changing lanes. It's like an art form really. It takes a special skill...that apparently not a lot of people have. So let's start with the basics. There is a reason why turn signals come with the cars, people. Use them. When you want to change lanes, use your freakin' signals to let me know you're going to be invading my lane. And once you get into my lane...you need to not slow down. Do not, under any circumstances, move into my lane and then proceed to slow down. Doing that will likely cause me to curse very loudly and shake my fist at you. I was driving along with the flow of traffic and this old man moves his car right in front of mine and then slows his ass down. Are you freakin' kidding me? Hey Old Man, you do that again and you’re going to be missing a bumper.
OK, I’m saving the best for last. The big one…and I do mean the big no no…is when you're in the far left lane and you are that idiot who’s going super slow. There is nothing more annoying than being behind someone in the fast lane who doesn't understand the concept of driving fast in the fast lane. People, if you're going to abide by the speed limit, that's great...just don't do it in the far left lane. The far left lane is for people who want to go faster than 65 mph (well, just a little faster than 65, Officer). So just move your little car over to any of the other number of lanes available and let people pass you. I was behind this lady who was going exactly 65 mph in the far left lane. Seriously, I trailed her for a couple miles just to see if she'd move over (fyi, if you have someone sitting on your bumper and you're going 65 mph in the fast lane, you should move your ass over), and she was going exactly 65 mph the whole freakin’ time. Umm...Mom, what did I tell you about driving in the fast lane? You drive too slow to be in the fast lane!
Ugh. But, phew, that's it. I think I covered everything that I wanted to. So if I happen to run into you on the road and you break any of the above rules...I will not be responsible for my actions. Consider yourself warned.
OK, I'm done for now.
Posted by kristina
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