Trainer

For the past couple weeks, I've been meeting with a personal trainer at the gym. As most of you know, I am dead serious about getting myself into tip-top shape…and have been working pretty hard to get myself there. And, yes, I have been working out on my own and with the help (and company) of you all, but I figure it wouldn’t hurt to get in some extra workouts with a trainer as well.

Anyway, during our initial meeting a few weeks ago, I was asked what my physical goals were and I said that I wanted to get myself toned. Cardio, sure, of course…but my main focus right now is toning. Sounds fair, right? I mean, I want to leave the gym, each and every session, soaking in sweat and physically sore from a hardcore workout. I want to wake up in the morning too sore to move...that's when I know that I've really been working myself out. I want to feel the burn, damnit. Well, you know what? My trainer sucks. Seriously, all the exercises that I'm given...are just not cutting it for me and I blow through them with no problem. I do them in half the time it takes, I don’t even break a sweat, and my muscles aren’t even close to being sore...and hello…I have to demand more...heavier weights and more repetitions. I mean, seriously, at the rate I’m going…I sweat more sitting at my desk in front of my computer chatting online than I do working out with my trainer. And after my training sessions, I stay later just to push myself harder so I start to feel the burn. I shouldn't have to do that, dude. Shit. What's up with that? Hello...I'm not feeling the burn over here!

It's so frustrating. I mean, granted, I have been hitting the gym and working out far more than I have before, but still...push me, damnit. I am one of those people who really wants a drill sergeant for a trainer…seriously, I do. I want someone who is going to yell at me, piss me off and force me to do better. There’s nothing I like more than a challenge...but what does my trainer do? I get praised for doing nothing. And I’m totally not kidding…I sit on a stability ball and do a series of sit ups and I get praised for not even breaking a sweat…ugh. Don’t praise me and blow smoke up my ass! Are you kidding me? I can do this in my sleep. My trainer says that I’m a trainers’ dream come true…but hello…what about me? I could use some help over here. My muscles aren't going to tone themselves, man. And it seems like my trainer is more interested in chatting it up and talking than helping me tone…what the hell? Don’t waste my time. I’m not here to chat and talk and be best friends with you…I want to work my ass off, damnit.

So if there is anyone out there who hears my plea…I am in need of a super hard core workout buddy…because my trainer is about to be replaced.